I had planned to go shopping on a sunday (3 weeks ago) with my school friend. As far as my friend is concerned, she's one of those procrastination queens who can exhibit heights of indiscipline and laziness. No wonder she was popularly called "the late latif", when in school. And she feels very proud to have carried the name till this day!! :-@ I really become austere about everything concerning time when with her. Being fully aware of her 5-hr delay she adds to the scheduled time, I fixed an appointment at 9am in the morning. Luckily, she was ready by 1pm (an hour in advance!!!). I should have had an inkling by then that it indicated some "bad shagun"!! We decided to goto TOTAL mall on mys road.
I cant help bringing it up here about our bizzare movie experience!! The first time we(school friends) went for a movie together, we had to go half an hour late for a 5pm show inspite of having booked tickets for a 2pm show in advance. Since our PQ got late just by 3.5hrs, we had to sell the 2pm tickets and buy new ones again for the 5pm show!!!! Her calm composure makes you go nuts. Whenever she meets us, that too after 5 hrs of delay, she calmly asks - "Late aaytha?? (Did I get late??)" We wear a sarcastic smile and say - "No not at all" and later in chorus - "GGrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh!!!!!!" I'll write about some of our really hilarious rendezvous sometime later!
Coming back to the sunday's story, we reached the mall by 2pm. I was v hungry as though had not eaten for ages.
"Lets first eat and then shop" I said.
"We'll goto MTR. I wanna eat there... Its been a long time since we had been there!!" she insisted.
"Ok, lets have lime soda atleast." I suggested to which she agreed. We quickly had a glass of it each and started to roam around in the ground floor nothing particular in mind to shop. How the time flies when shopping is the most miraculous thing I've ever noticed. By the time we reached the 1st floor it as already 4pm. Then on started the phone calls from my mom -
Call 1:
"What time are you coming home?" she asked very sweetly.
"Will be at home by 8 ma" I said.
"Dear, I want you to be home by 6pm today. I have a surprise for you" said my mom, sounding more sweet. As usual my sixth sense sensed something fishy.
"Hope its a pleasant one" I said in a rather confused but assertive tone.
"Moms only want the best for their kids and I am no different. So, today Sandeep is coming home to see you!!" said my mom.
"Sandeep? which Sandeep? oh your colleague Aruna aunt's son is it?? Does he want me to teach him something this time?? BTW, what has he got to do with you expecting the best for me??" I asked.
"No no dear... Its not that Sandeep. This Sandeep is the guy whom I told you about. Very nice chap. I want you to see him and if you like, i'll be more than happy to go ahead with the marriage preparations..." she said enthusiastically.
"EXCUSE ME!! I am not interested in any marriage. I am not coming" I said and snapped the phone.
She called back almost immediately.
Call 2:
Me: "Yes?"
Mon: "Why are you so impatient??Atleast listen to what I say!!"
Me: "Sorry Mom. Ok tell me what is it? Before that, I wanna make it crystal clear that I dont want to see any guy"
Mom: "What's there in seeing a guy? He's not gonna tie a knot then and there,"
Me: "Please speak something else!!!"
Mom: "You first come home by 6pm. I'll explain you in detail"
Me: "I'm not coming"
I snapped the phone again.
She called the third time and I didn't take the call. I tried to recall about what she had told me about the guy!! I was/am somehow dead against the idea. I am just too young for marriage and not at all mentally prepared for it. I had rejected it outright when this proposal flew in, but my mom wasn't convinced at all with my reasoning. She had even finished off the first set of interviews with him without my knowledge! :-| And that evening I knew the results - he had cleared them with flying colors. Now it would be my turn! The only thing that matchd between me and him is with my obsession with #7. His name had 7 letters in it and it started with "s". I know I am a little too kiddish, but from my style of calculation, my prospective hubby would have 7 letters in his name and it would start with either A, S or D. Don't ask me the reasoning behind this. But I think this will come true!!
Next thing my mom did was very evident. I started to get a call from my dad.
He: "Come home dear... I know this was a sudden decision. You need not agree, but just come and be here."
Me: "Whats the point in seeing a guy when I am very sure of not wanting to marry him??"
He: "Yeah I agree. But its also true that you have nothing to lose if you see"
Me: "Ok... I will think over and call you later.. Bye."
My mom now SMSed me a lengthy one. I could read all possible pet names and asking me to be home by six. I promptly spurned it out. She called me two more times and I didn't receive. We shopped for some more time and it was 5:30 already. I was hungry more than ever. I started to feel guilty and sorry about not taking my mom's calls. I called her back at around 5:40 and agreed to go. I told my friend about this and she said - "I have a feeling you're going to settle with this guy!!"
I cursed her for that and left for home.
At dot 6, I was at home. I felt a lot better when I thought of my dear procrastination queen.
Mom: "I'm glad that you came. Now go and get ready soon. Call me when you are done. I'll help you with the saree"
Me: "SAREEE??? Nooo wayyy... I am going back to the mall!!!"
Mom: "Enough is enough. Just listen to what I say. In ten minutes I want to see you ready"
Me (pretended to put on my shoe): "Me leaving byeeee..."
Mom: "Why do you test my patience so much? You cannot be sitting in front of the guy in this faded jean!!"
Me: "Thats the fashion these days!! And this is my favourite of all. I am not changing"
The fight went on for another half an hour and my father cut in the conversation. Finally we compromised on a salwar kameez.
As told to me,they were supposed to arrive by 6:30pm. It was nearing 7 and still no clue of them. I was looking for something to prove against him and I was in luck I thought.
Me: "The guy doesn't have time sense. Look its already half past 6:30!!"
Mom: "Thats still much better off than your dear friend who's atleast 5 hrs late. When you find that ok, why not this?"
Can't beat her in this I thought and kept quite. I called in one of my neighbour friends to keep me company.
Me, my mom and my neighbour friend stood in the balcony on the first floor and saw the guy arriving with his father and his cousin finally. Ahhh got another one I thought!! Since my mom believes in some superstitions, I thought of taking advantage of it:
Me: "Mom, look. They don't even know that they shouldn't come in three for such auspicious occassions!!"
Mom: "Thats ok. Since they are all guys, its fine."
I'm sure she herself didn't agree with what she said. She said that for the sake of it.. just like i did!! ;) "God! she knows too very well to handle me!!" I said to myself.
Mom: "Be here. Come down when called" she instructed and left.
Afte 10 min or so, my mom called out - "Divya ..divya" in a very low tone. And obviously I did not hear. She came up once more and said - "How many times to call??"
"when did you call??" I asked in my normal tone that is usually audible to people in ground floor too. She literally shut my mouth and said "Don't scream!!" in a screeching voice. "I did not!!" I murmured. "Ok.. come" she said and left.
I was a little confused as i've watched in movies that there'll be some supporting stars behind the gal and they get her. In my case that was supposed to be my neighbour aunt. I told that aunty - "I would have preferred gals, aunty". She gave a cold stare and asked my friend to accompany me. To my surprise and horror, she was blushing so much that I was confused if it was me or her who was to see the guy.:D Aunty was too much fed up to see our faces and said: "You are coming with me and thats it!!" The aunty is tooo sweeet and very very funny and humorous. Finally I was taken into the living room. All the seats were filled except for one which was obvious(later realized it wasn't really obvious). I waved my hand and said "hi" to them all and occupied the left out seat.
At once I realized there can't be any other thing that is as embarrassing as this!! "Gosh!! " I wanted to run away from the simultaneous stares of all the 5 people at me!! My aunty thooo stood just outside the door, visible only to me and started giggling out aloud. (Later I was told that I was not supposed to have occupied the unoccupied seat and that I was to goto the kitchen and hide ther!!!!! :-X) Her laugh is very contageous. The guy's father broke the silence at last and asked me my name. (Ahhh so formal!! I'm sure he wouldn't have come home without even knowing my name!! :-S) I replied - "Divya..." followed by a big laugh. I swear I couldnt control my laugh. How I cursed my aunt I cannot say!! His father wore a v serious look and there was not even a hint of a smile / curve anywhere on his face. I am sure he'd have thought I was insane.
Till then I had not seen the guy. With great efforts, my eyes looked at him and my laughter increased ten fold. Myyyy Goooddd he was blushing and his face was pink!!! Tooooooo muchhh I thought. I couln't stay there anymore and left to the kitchen. In the kitchen I see all the delicacies arranged neatly and looked very tempting to the taste buds. Suddenly I realized how hungry I was. I took a lump of mys pak and put it in my mouth. Another disaster!! My mom called me just then- "divya divya" in a low tone... My mouth was packed to speak anything. This time I pretended not to hear. "Not only is she insane, but deaf too!" the guy's father would have thought. My mom entered the kitchen and asked me to distribute the sweets.
I exclaimed - "Why me? You only do it. Did he already say yes that I have to distribute sweets!!??! Even if he did say yes, you are the one who liked him more than me. So either way, you should distribute the sweets."
Mom: "Divya... atleast for today, behave as if you are totally dumb and not deaf. Just do what is said without speaking a word. Do you understand?"
I just nodded.
Mom: "Say yes" she demanded. I could see the rays of anger radiating from her eyes nose and every cell on her face.
Me: "Hoon", without opening my mouth.
I was at last pushed to distributing it :( I distributed them and while returning put another lump of it in my mouth, just visible to the dumb spectators.
Mom: "Why are you behaving so weird today? Haven't you tasted mys pak at all in your life?? Did you have to do that in front of them??"
Me: "Oh come on ma... They were also eating and I too joined them. Whats in that?? Don't point out at silly things. Moreover I hadn't had my lunch also today. I am starving!!!"
Mom: "You better just sit there. Don't move." she ordered and heaved a sigh.
It was the second round of distribution and this time it was fanta. Of 5 people, 2 didn't want it. My mom forced them to have. She didn't even bother to ask if I needed one. "Please serve the needy ma", I told myself under my breath. She noticed that and gave another really wild stare. I was about to protest and realized that it wont be of any use.. :-| I suddenly turned towards the guy. He should have been a girl I swear!! How much he was blushing. And I hated the silence building up there. Finally this time I broke the silence. When I started to speak, there was a loud thud in the kitchen. (May be another indication from my mom to keep my mouth shut and not to do any gadbad once more.) I gathered courage from don't know where and proceeded. I asked him as to why he chose to do something that was totally irrelevant to his qualification. All that he had to say was "It was unfortunate". My father sent some warning signals sitting opposite to me. I said "Ok.. " a smile and stopped.
After sometime they left. Ahhh what a sense of relief!! The guy wanted to say bye to me. Even before he opened his mouth to say it, I had already said"bye byebyebyebye". I wonder what he'd have thought. Later that night, I had an 8 hr gyaan session from my mom!!! Luckily she didn't realize that I was already asleeep. :P UUUUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!
I vote for love marriages!!
