Sophie -- you are my alter ego!  

Posted by Divya A L

My shopaho-li-sm has reached heights, or so thinks my dear Hubby. It was my mother then and its my husband now - whom I have to lie(its a big deal deal, really) to about  my shopping expenses. Why don't these people realize I can't be bi-partied with my shopaholism?
They should be lucky to know that I respect their sentiments and don't/rarely get them involved in my shopping business by not telling them about it or just making sure they are not present when I shop! And once or twice they learn about it, its a serious crime! Come on! 1 out of 25 times, is all what they know! Should they make a big issue out of that also? Why don't they understand I'm getting the best deals and of all, the kind of happiness I get with it, is euphoric. My mom likes to talk over phone and my hubby wants to watch cricket/badminton etc. Similarly I like to shop. Isn't it that simple? Its these small little things that matters in life!

Yesterday was a disaster! I had ordered 2 jumpsuits and a funky sunglass from Myntra day before and it said it would take a minimum of 1 week for delivery. Well, generally they give a call before they deliver. Expecting the same, I was cool that nobody will learn about this order. But to my surprise I see the myntra guy at my doorstep yesterday morning 8a.m!! I had to undergo the consequences of the pride these online sellers claim of - faster delivery!!

The bill was around Rs.1900 and as usual I had no cash. Since I was expecting it a week later and they would give a call before coming, I had thought I will withdraw the money later on. But now, without any alternative I turned to my hubby:

Me: Do you have some cash?
Ram: How much?
Me: 2k only
Ram: I may not have so much but tell me why you need it
Me: Nidhi (my neighbour) had ordered few things online and that guy has come. He says bill is around 1.9k
Ram: Why do you want to pay for her order?
Me: We had a combined order - I ordered some funky sun glasses.
Ram: Ok. I think she is awake, go check with her.
Me: (Shit!!) No she is still sleeping. I tried calling her.
Ram: Ok wake her up. Its 8am already.
Me: She was not well. Why trouble her?  I will pay now, she will pay me back later
Ram: (Goes straight to their house wakes her up. I stare at him looking stunned) Nidhi your parcel has arrived!
Nidhi: Yepme ka parcel itni jaldi aa gayi?( Our YEPME order has arrived so soon?)
Me: No Nidhi, we did not order at YEPME, it was myntra remember? (Well, day before yesterday, we actually did a combined order at YEPME. Poor girl she thought it was that, obviously).
Nidhi (sleepy eyes): Nahi yaarr.. It was YEPME only...
Me (growing little furious): Nidhi it was MYNTRA!!( I started winking at her, gosh! she noticed)
Nidhi: Accha that one! Oh show me!
Me (I love her!!!): Started to unpack and first took out the funky sun glasses. They were damn cool! I was sooo joyous, but couldn't show it out!
Ram: Take the other two parcels meant for you Nidhi.
Me: (almost had a heartbreak for not even getting a chance to take a look at my jumpsuits. I had to do something!! My mind was working fast!) Ram, actually, I recollect that I had ordered one for me and one for her( without facing him).
(I could feel a cold stare at me. I think he expected it and gave a sarcastic smile)
Ram: Why do you order these online? How do you know it fits? You have wasted many already. Don't you learn from your mistakes? (my Mom was so much better! :( )
Me: No No Ram, I'm sure they fit me. I'll try them right away and show you if you want. If you think its not good, I'll return it back now only(Didn't give him second chance to speak and rushed into the room - finally I gotta chance not just to see them, but wear them too!! - ecstatic!!)
I thanked God a thousand times that day! Both fit me so well that I was tempted to tell the truth that both were mine! But no, he would kill me!

Ram: So which one is yours?
Me: Actually I liked both... err.. I.. ( I hadn't even completed the sentence when he cut it short)
Ram: Ok keep that(pointing out at the black one) and give the other to Nidhi.  (to Nidhi: ) You too try and if it doesn't fit return it now itself, Don't waste money like her (pointing at me)
Nidhi: Returning policies are different... (I had to signal her once more to not not explain those policies now!) "OK". (she was now fully awake! Her sympathy for me was showing up from all corners of her eyes! She silently took it away) .

That moment was awful as I had a 6th sense that it will never come back to me! My idea was to just hand over the parcel to her, as it is, in the packed state, and collect it later in the evening. After 2 weeks Ram would have forgotten about it. However, let me tell you 1 fascinating fact about Ram - He has a photographic memory!!

Nidhi is a nice sweet girl. In 5 minutes she came back, pretending to have tried it out and ...
Nidhi: This looks so much better on you than me!! (have you seen a sweeter girl? I haven't) Ram, she looks slim also, didn't you notice?
Me: (went on a high for a sec, and thanked God !): Are you sure? (Before I could talk, Ram cut in)
Ram: You like it and bought it, so you take it! Or if its not fitting you well, then return it!
(My stomach felt  a churn - It was like a free fall from a reef! Nidhi also was disappointed! She tried her best to convince it was good for me, that I looked slim, that I could wear for so and so occasions etc, but Ram didn't even had that line of thought or change his angle of thought. After futile failed attempts she took it away!)

Its there now, lying in her wardrobe crying to come back to me! Oh dear, I miss you as much as you miss me!!

Yesterday evening, it was v heavy on my heart and spurred out the fact that all were mine to Ram. He said, "I knew it in the first place, reassured when I saw the disappointment when Nidhi was taking it from here and now I am proud of my judgement!"

I wanted to go and bang my head somewhere!

PS: I hate Myntra. They should learn that just because they are situated geographically close-by and have delivered many a time to the same address, they should not take it for granted and appear like ghosts early in the morning, that too clueless! Learn you pridos!!

And Sophie, you have confessed too much in your book - Confessions of a shopaholic! And like a fool, had made Ram read it!