Complex relationship - friendship versus love  

Posted by Divya A L

This is the most discussed/sought after topic for which i wanted to post my thoughts and ideas since long. Looks like finally its time that i do it. My thoughts are partly based on real life experiences.

Well, lets first discuss friendship. Whats it? Why do people become friends? On what aspects does one choose his/her friend. Basically, you would choose to be someone's friend if :
a> You are comfortable and at ease speaking to that person
b> Both of you are like-minded people
c> you share Common interests.
d> you like them for whatsoever XYZ reasons, it may be their character, social behavior, etc.
e> Most often than not, its just the fact that, everyone likes to be liked. So, if someone likes you for something, you'd appreciate and acknowledge it through friendship.

Well, we all surely have many categories of friends like "pen pals", "just friends", "good friends", "close friends", "best friends" so on and so forth. Sometime we even promote or demote(rarely) them within these categories. ;) Spending quality time with him/her brings them together and takes them another step ahead to become "close friends". One search in google with a keyword "friendship", will throw out numerous friendship quotes. Most of them are really touching and comply almost perfectly to what "friendship" means.

The next Big Question!! How different or sophisticated it becomes when two people of opposite sex tend to become the "best friends"?? If i were to answer this question, i would say, it shouldn't be any different from the way it would have been if they were of the same sex. But to my surprise, i have noticed in many cases, the idea of "love" creeps in from don't know where, especially from the guy's side. Well, i don't mean offence to the guys here, but 90% of the cases that i've come across, the guys tend to "assume" that the girl is interested in him in ways more than mere "friendship". Its also the case that many a times, the "friendship" is finally transformed into "love" when both are interested in each other in special ways. So i cant falsify the guys completely here.

Well, what if one's interested and the other is not. Should the one who's interested control his/her feelings for the other, or should the one uninterested, demote their level of friendship and call it quits? I'd rather put them in a seperate category and call it "Complex relationship" :P Either way, either of them will be hurt. Who's to be blamed? Is it one who brought in the concept of "love" or the other who is not ready to accept his/her love? Without either of their faults, why should they suffer? If they call it quits, isn't it contrasting the basic definition of a friend? Should it cost their long term friendship so dearly?? People who like each other so much that they are "best friends" will now be ready to leave each other just because one of them "loved" the other? And many a time, "love" is considered far superior to friendship, and that very love, transforms them into two different strangers, only if one of them is interested. Is this all justifiable?

Talking about love... I'd say its very different from friendship. One has special feelings for the person with whom they are in love with. Can it bloom out of friendship? Well, yes, it very much can but need not be always. Sometimes, things just cant change or rather change overnight. For instance, if two people have known each other for very long like say tens of years, then all of a sudden their friendship cannot turn into love easily. The simple reason being, one simply cannot change their feelings overnight for the other.

Never mix friendship and love. Both are unique and special in their own ways. They have their own place and if you happen to mix the both, its gonna cost you dearly. Think 100 times before you get into what i termed as "complex relationship". Atleast try to know if the other is interested or not before proceeding in that direction. Or just give it some time.

Love usually happens at first sight
Though most find it rarely right
Friendship lasts a lifetime
Which only grows over time!!

Both are true and precious in their own ways
However in a coin, they are two different faces
Friendship can end in love at times
But love in friendship, can never happen in your lifetime!!

True love never fails;
Honest friendship never breaks!!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 29, 2009 at Wednesday, July 29, 2009 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


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July 29, 2009 at 9:42 PM

More questions than answers, huh Divya? ;) You'll post the solution manual to this post soon, I hope!! :D

No two relationships are the same, be it friendship or love or a 'complex' one - each one is unique in it's own way, so generalizations may not be true..

The 90% of the guys you mentioned most certainly never started out with friendship on their minds - that was just a ruse to get close to the girl :) (The guys are probably going to lynch me for letting this secret out :D) But this is obvious looking from a guy's perspective..

My 2 cents... donno if you'd agree!!

July 29, 2009 at 9:43 PM

@Sreejith: Ha hahahahaha!! That was hilarious!! Thanks for that secret!! :P

I have already posted my soln manual i suppose - "Don't be idiotic to get into such a relp"!! :D

July 29, 2009 at 9:50 PM

Me commenting on relationships would make you guys LOL!!! :D
Relationships are very confusing. Even after knowing all the secrets we wouldn't be able to make sense or even apply it in real life.
One thing is for sure, no friendship lasts without love, and love lasts longer, if there is friendship.

July 31, 2009 at 4:08 PM

@SD: Yes, they are damn confusing even if one of them try sophisticating things... Loved the last line of yours!! :)

July 31, 2009 at 4:54 PM

This can be converted to a thesis paper..:)
What you said is right..And its not that ppl don't realize this...Further it so happens that "after" one enters a relationship one realizes that it has become a "complex relationship".. :):) :D

August 20, 2009 at 10:05 AM

@dilip: ha ha hah a :)
I am not sure whether they realize it or not, but ya, if they really did realize, its more likely that it'll be too late to do anything about it by then...

August 20, 2009 at 11:05 PM

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