Self reflection - JK's perspective  

Posted by Divya A L

After listening to many of J. Krishnamurthy's talks,  finally there is something we all can get a little help for ourselves - "self help". Literally so,  which he emphasizes time and again,  that we are truly the ones who can help ourselves by observation with undivided attention to our thoughts and feelings and importantly minimizing the usage of the most glorified part of our body- the brain/mind. Eliminating or keeping it at minimal usage, Jiddu talks about observing oneself and the surrounding , registering your feelings , subconscious actions while also dismissing the default action of our brain's inference engine,  that creates the "image" of a certain thing or somebody and living with it for decades to pass. 

At first, when I started listening to him, I quite did not get down to the profoundness of his talk. He spoke about undoing all the seasoning that has been done to us right from our birth into believing a lot of stuff which have now become an integral part of our being that one doesn't even question of its origin.  The rules are built and a foundation has been laid by the demands of the religion, society, culture and everything into our thinking. His very first talk, I listened to, was to to be free from what is learnt already, with or without the facts of it. The brain has been trained with tremendous amount of information - the good, the bad and the ugly - of which, some are true , some false or some,  based on a belief system. But he says if one must seek the truth of all of it, one has to undo the damage already done to our minds/brains which is now only an inference engine based on the past data fed. 

So, what is all this supposed to mean? It means, we would stop to think and search for the truth of what is, the moment we look upto something or someone who has instant, readymade answers to our problems. It is easy , to learn, to accept , to adapt instead of trying to experience and doing it all on our own. In the process, everytime we are "trained" or "taught" ,  subtle vital information falls off the canvas little by little, generation to generation and finally presents itself with an over simplified set of rules. An analogy to this is making a movie of a book. One has to admit that the movies cannot do justice to the books written and miss out on one or the other aspect of the entire experience/ story/ descriptions and what not! Everyone seeks instant gratification. We are restless, we dont want to observe , think or act responsibly. All one cares about is to temporarily put forth the troubles, ignore it for time being, make "adjustments" or don't even want to think about the problem and let go of it altogether.

Talking about the problems - one cannot solve them with the mind or brain in action. For each of us are presented with different problems, different in nature, different in size and weight, different in texture, print and color. One size doesn't fit everyone. Yes, we do have some rules and ready made solutions but does that really solve the problem from the root? If it doesn't, it recurs. For really removing it with the roots, one has to observe the nature of the problem, just observe without any prejudice, without already working on a solution, just observe - yourself, the circumstance that landed you in this. Observe how your body reacts to each of the significant series of events that had occured in the past that ended up in this event. Through that observation will you know and understand yourself - what you liked in the process, what you hadn't approved of, then go back into each of those and try to see what you felt on each of the flashes. Once you are self aware to such an extent, you will exactly be able to identify the real root of the problem. If one creates an image of the entire episode like a trailer, you wouldnt ever be able to address it. Look back in every detail and note down your feelings. Understanding the problem correctly is 90% of the problem solved. All this keeping your mind and brain at complete rest without analysing and processing your experiences. One has to allow the mind to only let it register the events and your reaction to them and stop it there. Once it goes beyond that, the mind stores the result of the analysis in our brains rather than the actual actions. To put it simply, if a person keeps falling sick when he eats icecreams, the mind registers and concludes ice cream itself as sickness instead of trying to find out what is it in an icecream does my body doesnt approve of! Like a doze of steroid, it kills the bad cells at the cost of a million more good ones! And this is how one makes up pictures or images of something or someone. Mind is a two sided sword, that kills and gets killed. It harbors bias, prejudice not only within us, but also goes on to spread it to others like a virus. Because other minds are waiting to be served. Once the "images" get created, you are stuck in it for ages and sometimes indefinitely. 

He also explains time. Time is the lapse of how we were from yesterday to today. Time is a change. We, part of nature are always changing. Time is the reflection of a change. When you let the images form in your mind stay,  from past experience or from the sayings of others or reading about it somewhere,  or being a follower of culture,  religion, guru, etc etc, basically you have made up your mind that the image you have made up is a constant. To simply give an example,  the west has had a strong opinion on "India" that it is poor,  lacks infrastructure,  prone to diseases, etc etc that whoever visits India are prejudiced with such lame information. Maybe it was so, once upon a time, but no longer so. So the "time" is constantly a non constant. Something or someone today will not be the same tomorrow. Change is inevitable,  it's a law of nature. Of course it can be for better or worse. But there is a change. The mind performs wonderfully well only if it registers events and not let it analyze/infer/deduce its consequences taking it to the future. Instead, introspect, why you(based on the subconscious reaction) liked or didn't like a certain thing. Explore more about yourself. Observe what is the root of your response,  root of the situation and possibly introspect and know yourself and your boundaries. This works , works to the fullest,  an absolute,  for,  so many times we have been through and realized it all a little late.  And that is why perhaps, for instance,  if you put your mind to use in decisions based on past experience or someone else's perspective,  and you come across it/ them again,  you may feel differently as against your mind 's analysis. The feeling is what one  should trust. Don't ignore your body language. The body language, the subconscious acts talk much louder than our minds. Use your brain only as a store to record events and your actions/reactions/ responses and cut it at that. Don't really attempt at making changes in your mind terms(conditioning it) to suit a certain need,  because that never works,  sooner or later, let's you down. Going down the root of the problem, eliminates it totally completely. It's not a mere adjustment at that instance,  it's "the end" to it. 

In fact we may all have done it,  without conscious observation but gave up for one reason or the other mid way. The reason could be a mere distraction,  no time(biggest illusion we have created for ourselves), other duties,  responsibilities or priorities, or just not able to concentrate enough to figure it out, the image we gave of ourselves and the blind confidence of our seasoning throughout our lives. 

But I think there is one thing that is common which we know universally and the workings of our body language and our inner self. It's called "values". Not the values a particular religion preaches,  not that of a custom,  tradition,  not that the gurus talk about,  but it is our own body alert mechanism which cautions,  v v briefly, on our actions, keeps a check, impromptu, without absolute involvement of the mind or brain,  not that it's caused out of fear (the tit for tat theory, that if I do something wrong,  it comes back to me), but in its simplest form,  just a glitch of your sub conscious that pops out for a v brief time , cautioning you,  warning you, of the action you are about to perform. PAY ATTENTION TO THAT! IT'S AN ACTION IN MAJOR PROBABILITY YOU'LL REGRET doing and the guilt would haunt you!

A wrong action from us,  our body alerts us (observe we are absolutely not giving any work to our brain) . And as our generations in the past whoever did pay attention,  used their brain to probably termed it as "values". The moral science we are taught at school, more or less signifies this,  but the only difference is that it is "taught". Taught with stories,  taught with talking about feelings and emotions, taught with thinking to put oneself in others' shoes and all that.  This teaching is moderately good but to know what it means to ethically , morally be good is to understand it deeply which comes through experiencing it oneself through the situations presented in the stories.  The emotions and feeling it takes us through will be the most effective than a mere story listening,  isn't that correct? Also these moral stories that are "taught" are not all surely practical. One cannot tell the murderer the truth of where the victim is hiding. If your brain gets seasoning to believe the absolutes of a mere teaching from someone else,  it is bound to go wrong. So it's important to introspect oneself. 

In our lives,  we may not experience the same set of turbulence, emotions , the problem and the nature of it are all varied and guage differently. Hence it is important to experience and observe the emotions the body goes through, without any prejudice, keeping aside the mind and brain totally out of that experience and know oneself.  

In essence,  observation is the key,  and the only key to get past our problems. And equally important is also the images that get formed in the brain of a person place it a thing. 

Jiddu says,  essentially,  in this ever changing world, stop - 

1. creating images, opinions in the mind of something someone or a certain situation

2.  analyzing  to derive futuristic conclusions,

Instead observe, fully,  completely, giving your 100%, without bias, without looking for solutions till you get to the root of the problem. Once you are at the root, problem is understood as is. There are no deviations. Its unilateral, no strings attached. Pay high attention to your subtle communication of the body and sub conscious responses and register the feelings,  emotions.  Don't let mind to deviate from there, let it flow,  experience it fully, consciously, not looking for solutions till you get to the root of it. Once you get there, you will know what to do,  without putting the mind into action. That will be the end of that misery. All of the rest are only temporary arrangements and never will one be free of it as it recurs again and again. Acceptance after observation of what is, is the ultimate truth. Your non thinking responses are crucial. Your feelings when you are with someone or how you behave subconsciously in a situation are all very active communication to yourself.

Another best example of this is the kids' behavior. Kids cry, get angry, show tantrums - do they hate you? Absolutely no. They are the non verbal communication of something that they disliked, something of their needs or wants. Anger especially is a reflection of hopelessness of trying to get the other person understand your point of view. When there is no reception of your feelings, will the anger surface. The unheard feelings are translated into anger by mind - its yet another way a mind tries to tactically reinforce your point. If the anger is not being acknowledge the last the mind retorts to is crying. If the communication of a person if not understood or misunderstood, the mind tries various ways to put it across - repetition, anger, cry and finally give up, resulting in agony , despair, resentment and depression. Anger is a very strong non verbal communication to show your non compliance or disagreement or not being heard or of discomfort. Most often than not, it is usually misunderstood for the lack of patience. The children are the best educators for understanding and observing , for they genuinely communicate their behaviors as their minds are not totally "trained" or "seasoned" to supress their feelings. A child having exaggerated behaviors is in fact a sign of good emotional and mental health, the one that of "unseasoned" being! They can observe and accept only for what is. Such children are found to be tough to be handled by the "seasoned" parents.

Our body and conscious are the masters of our life! Embrace it, give it total attention, listen to what it has to say, act without prejudice. Getting to the root of the problems and identifying it correctly as is,  is half problem solved. 

"Mind cannot understand, it may only translate an understanding unto an action, but by itself  cannot understand. To understand there must be the warmth of recognition and reception, which only the heart can give when the mind is silent." - JK.

Never in a billion light years....  

Posted by Divya A L

 The crying, the whining, the Greif and the pain

Drives you crazy , dizzy and insane

Once the precious,  the righteous, the courteous

turns vicious,  venomous and abnoxious...

Renders you futile, immobile , hostile and fragile

Ernstwhile, you were agile, versatile and very worthwhile!


The then - 

Couldn't can't care even for a second

Wouldn't won't think  not more than  a minute

And the now -

 Can't stand the presence in any sense

And everything turning utter non sense

Between the two, in wonder I'm awaken,

If the bridge was built or broken!


Never would this soul I'd want to come across, 

Never should our lives criss cross;

You were always mine but I never was yours

Never ever going to be,  even in the next billion light years!

Revving awfulness  

Posted by Divya A L

Words once spoken, 

Hearts one broken, 

Cannot be mended or repaired, they say !


But try and try again, 

Till you succeed, is the only way!


The heart sang the music of love

To another,  of deceit, fallacy , 

masked with Innocence , otherwise to prove!


Turning back to see what I had

It was a ride of a roller coaster, 

Where climbing up was a glee 

And a slip or a fall, was a never-to-return flee


It never was a simple push

But like that of a fisherman, 

with all his fishes  from the seven seas,

An effort of a lifetime

Hastefully being let for a shark's sumptuous meal


Why does it feel the way it feels

The heart cries and the mind reels

Into the abyss of twists and churns

Just waiting for it to pass...


While the mind says its alright

Doesn't at all end the incessant squirms

Are the intentions and thoughts so clouded if not bright

So blinding to even envision its smoggy brim?

My sunny boy's company!  

Posted by Divya A L

My engagement with you
Has had me relinquish every other activity, not involving you
You are my sunshine and moonlight
You are the only one who I always agree with,  to be right

My ears yearn to hear all that you speak
Your cute little words resonate my heart with musical rhythmic beats
Your smile is what my eyes seek
So cute so lovely , I'd instantly melt for that greet

You've been my ray of light
Inner struggles while I fight
Instantly stupifying the sorrows and grief
Like a magic spell, within a brief

Our long talks before the bed
Are like the bedtime stories to me
Listening to all that you'd said
I feel like a child again, enjoying the lullaby. 

Your words sometimes are so profound
Like a guide and the light of the Divine
Leaves me stunned and enthralled
A Lord in disguise,  my lifeline!




Self portraits  

Posted by Divya A L in ,


Dhrupad's self portraits! While I have picked up well on drawing in my Note 8, my son wanted to try it too. When asked what he'd like to paint, he said, "I want to paint myself".
In 10 minutes time, the picture on the left was ready. I saved it immediately ;)
He started to share details of the pic. 
He: "Mom, look, I am wearing the orange dress and a green T-shirt . I used to wear them when I was small.".
Me:" Wow, wonderful, is this small Dhrupad? But are you also wearing an orange mask?"
He: "No, but my skin color matched closely with only this color on this phone!"
Me: "Oh ok, never mind. Why are your eyes yellow in color?"
He: " No, it is light yellow. My eyes are not as white as the color here offers"
Me: "ok, closest match! Ok cool. Why dont you have any hair on your head?"
He: "Do you remember that you got my head shaven when I was small? So I have not drawn it here"
Honestly I didnt remember!
Me: "Why dont you have fingers in your hands and toes on your legs?"
He: "Mama, I was small then. So my hands feet and fingers were all small. See closely, you'll be able to see tiny tiny fists"
Me: "Ahaaa! I see... Ok, how do you look now?"
He immediately snatched the phone from me and started drawing further. As he drew he mumbled - "Now this is BIG Dhrupad!" As he said that, he extended his hands and legs that became the picture on the right.

Within no time, the current Dhrupad's portrait was ready. It was v hilarious and cute to watch the way he buddy extended the hands and legs and introduced bigger fists and feet (which he called fingers and toes!) I laughed my lungs out.

After a while I realized, it really did look like the grown up version. When I applied deeper thought, dont you think, the solutions to some problems can be as simple as this. We generally end up overthinking and bring in all other irrelevant things into picture. I awed at the simplicity of the thought, focus on what really was required and how beautifully it was achieved.

However, I still wanted to suggest some improvisations over the picture.
Me: "You've forgotten to draw the hair of grown up Dhrupad"
He quickly went to the mirror looked up and told me,"Mom, dont you remember, Dad cut my hair that day (he still doesnt know weeks, days etc). See, my hair is hardly visible now!!"

Well, the hair aspect was not overlooked after all. All the stuff were thought out in those few seconds to draw out a beautiful second self portrait!! Lot to learn from kiddos!! The real and natural things they know so much better than we grown ups and we try to teach them to be aware of the mishaps that can be caused due to man invented ideas and things.  If not for the things that society demands,  there is nothing that an adult can teach the kid. They are quite natural at knowing what to do, when,  socializing,  sympathizing and almost everything! The human instincts are at their best. 

COVID-19 - Does it see an end at all?  

Posted by Divya A L



Coincidentally, the COVID-19, a dreadful virus surfaced in the year 2019 December with Wuhan, China being its epicenter. A lot has happened and has been happening since then. This quickly spreading Pandemic has reached almost 90% of the countries across the world and most of them are under lock-down as on today. Indian government has declared nationwide lock-down for 21 days which started on 24th March 2020. As people are eagerly waiting for the lock-down period to end, there lot of fun games, Quiz time and other interesting stuff doing rounds on Whatsapp, one of which is - "What is the first thing you will do after the lock-down?"

Well, many answered, they wanted to watch their favorite movie, visit their dream destinations, some just wanted to get out of the house, and some wanted the rest of the people out of their houses! :D The latter was my choice too and I love the idea of being quarantined single at my home! Lol... But on giving it a serious thought, apart from these answers, what is the real meaning of ending a lock-down? How does it guarantee that the Virus spread has/had stopped and the problem is mitigated? Will anyone dare go out knowing that people are picking this up even now or have been quarantined suspects of this deadly Pandemic?

The idea behind the lock-down from my perspective is this:
Considering the Virus life cycle to be 21 days, the areas and people affected and infected would end the cycle and break the chain of spreading it further. Absolutely a fantastic way to cut down further damage. But isn't it equally important to know when to end the lockdown. In India, lock-down was exercised in an earlier stage than in other countries like Italy, US and other European nations who have been the worst victims of this Pandemic. However, India , considering its massive population does see all the probabilities of entering all the stages that these other countries have been through and are at. Given this situation, when is the ideal time to end the lock-down?

Lets take a look at this from a logical angle:
COVID-19 is said to have ended under the following circumstances:
1. There have been no new cases registered in the past 7 days (incubation period) to 21 days (entire life cycle). 21 being the higher side, safer to pick this one to leave no stones unturned.
2. All the positive tested patients must be cured (tested negative in 3 consecutive tests with a gap of 5 days each) 
3. There shouldn't be any more such floating cases (like awaiting results, repeat tests etc)
4. All suspects who have been quarantined needs to be tested and confirmed negative.

Even if one of the above conditions are compromised, we will be back to square one. Also, the above cases are listed considering there is still a ban on international travels.

Lets derive the numbers with math now on best case possibility:

Considering the official lock-down end date is 15th of April:
This cannot be, because even as I write down this blog, many new cases are being identified. More suspects and cluster infections are identified too. If tracing people and their contacts shall easily take up a week's time, it takes few more weeks to identify and quarantine them to contain it, (unless they start showing symptoms, they may or may not require hospitalizations) best of worst case.  Please note that there are no tests conducted at this point of time. Only people who are symptomatic are tested. Corona virus can exist without symptoms too! 
Now the math: Even in this hypothetical scenario of best case (all samples been tested, no new cases from tomorrow and no new quarantines starting tomorrow and everyone strictly follows the lock-down guidelines and doesn't break rules), the lock-down cannot end before beginning next month. 7 days to track down contacts and 21 days of their quarantine.


Worst case:
This is a more easy one to derive : Until they find a vaccine and/or cure + 21 days !!

What is more feasible?
Instead of keeping the entire nation under lock-down, or having a blanket lock-down end date, it should be conducted in phases. The lock-down relaxation should happen from the lowest level. Today, the smallest unit of isolation is a house. The relaxation should expand at next levels like streets, blocks, communities, set of few blocks/lanes, group of communities, area etc. Before expanding an isolation level, the people in the current one should meet the 4 criteria above. This can be achieved with a tag or certificate indicating the test conducted date and the result. If in a street/block, all people are tested negative, the isolation level can be elevated to that of a street. They may not be fully equipped with all the rights but now they can at least visit houses, share a snack or watch a movie together in someone's house. The kids are especially benefited when they find their friends to play together. This elevation doesn't mean they still have an access to the outside world, but at least they have a better breathing space than earlier. The monitoring and surveillance of these small groups of people shall continue with revival checkups and updating the tags. Common entertainment areas if comes in the jurisdiction of the isolated expanse, that s a bonus! 

This can be tracked by some volunteers. I'm sure one volunteer to keep check of the condition of people in their lane (like taking temperatures, asking for help) in each lane/block/street will work wonders. Excuse me for giving this example (I wont be surprised if I get trolled for this) but, if you are in the IT industry, this is similar to having a scrum model where each volunteer is a scrum master and makes it easy for the people in that expanse to have a normal life. There can be a simple daily stand-up meetings too :D

The rules within an identified isolation area remains the same. Travelling outside the isolation area for work/community events, etc etc should be STRICTLY not allowed.  As and when the new expanse is identified,  it is important to also support them with basic essentials (which volunteers can take up). A small set of support staff can be confined to an expanse identified latest. When this happens in parallel at all places, we can at least get 80% of the country out of lock-down at the earliest. As the infrastructure and facilities improve to facilitate the lab tests, the quicker can we distance less.

Though its all easily said than done, the blanket coverage of a lock-down start or end shall not work and we will end up in a series of loops of such lock-downs, with perhaps, increased severity every-time. This may trigger frustration and agitation eventually and there maybe a day when the entire nation is let loose and things go haywire. God forbid we shall never see such a day!

PS:  Please excuse the language, grammar and typos in this post, if any.


Small but sweetest Joys of life  

Posted by Divya A L

Back from office, I stepped into the house
To see my little one postured like a mouse

He seemed busy with one of his toy
With admiration, my heart sung and danced for this cute little boy!

Dhrupu, I called out,  hugging from behind,
Covered his eyes with my palms stretched wide

In his ears I mumbled,  -"can you tell who this is?"
Ajji, thaatha, and all other names he started to guess

He chuckled after every name he had purposely gotten wrong,
His game of innocent smartness, ascertained the best throngs

When he finally guessed it was me,
I had to act I was v happy and gee

He then seemed to remember something
His face lit up suddenly , glowing

He said "Mom, look here, what I've made"
It pointed at the block of colorful Lego pieces , neatly laid

When asked what it was that he showed..
He proudly said it was a television with a remote control

I asked him why the TV was colorful...
He shhhhhed me to tell it was on and playing Jack and Jill

He also handed me another block of Lego
Said I could change the channel while on go

It didn't stop there, I was given 2 more blocks of it
He tested the remote and said,  "Oh! the remote batteries are dead,  use the new ones to charge it"

He used one if my Intel cards as a TV stand
Placed it in front of the real one, and merrily clapped his hands

Finally he said I looked tired and would get me some Tea
Within seconds I sipped through an empty cup,  seated on the settee

This small little incident was sheer joy in loads
In the epic of my sweet memoirs, this surely is an unforgettable episode!

BTW, here's a pic of his TV:

33 years and what have I learnt  

Posted by Divya A L

This year I turned 33 and when I retrospect into what I accomplished so far in life, I guess I've grown more matured in my thoughts and actions. But this is exactly what I had thought about 5 years ago.  However, my thought process then and now are very far off and varied.

So is there a new definition for maturity or my perspective of maturity has changed?
Whatever it is, I haven't changed much as a person but somewhere a lot about me has changed.  One of them is that I'm a lot more independent! But at the same time, I've begun to notice many dependants on me who require my attention , care and consideration.  Needless to say my infant baby is one of them , on the other hand its my aging parents.

Of late, I find it very difficult to have a meaningful conversation with my parents.  Either they are too impatient or I am.  The once upon a time  "the most-friendly-relationship" with my parents (where I could speak anything and everything to them) has just turned upside down.  Many a time they are too impatient or adamant or stubborn. And since this behaviour is new to me, I too react with anger and impatience.  Honestly this is the last thing I'd want to do to them. They've all along been the best parents and I'd always vouch upon them for any kind of support. I keep contemplating on how it all turned out the way it is today.

Well, I have my personal bunch of issues that often come and go. I mostly choose to resolve them my way.  However my parents tend to think I'm wrong in the way I handle them and get too pissed off with it. I understand that they are concerned about my well being but when I'm ready to face the consequences of my actions they shouldn't be worried too much.

Many a time I've failed in my decisions, I have been backstabbed by people, my trust has been broken, I've been misunderstood. But these are the important learnings for me to know and discover better ways of doing things like how to prioritize(people or problems), what needs attention  and what needs ignorance,  whom to choose and whom to distance from most of all making wiser and thoughtful decisions. I have stopped blaming people, for, it is upto me on how I react to them.  The only thing I never want to stop doing is to stand up for the right things no matter what. Be it work or personal, be it strangers or close ones. When I retrospect, this behavioural aspect of mine has drawn me to some good friends and at the same time lose some good ones. I only wish and hope some day my intentions are understood the way I really intended them to be.

Now on the learnings,
1. Never to judge anyone.  Most often than not they are all right from their perspectives. Always give a benefit of doubt.
2. Independent! This teaches you a lot of things and most of all this is the one and only thing that leaves you satisfied for all your actions. You will not have a chance to blame anyone.
3. Never give up what you believe.
4. It is ok to disagree and commit as long as it is not personal.
5. Give people a second chance. After all the trust you invested demands a benefit of doubt - that things might have gone wrong unintentionally.
6. Try to make the best of every situation and make it a point to laugh as much as you can!
7. To make life as easier as possible without any complications.
8. Say no if you do not like something. 

Naming ceremony invite  

Posted by Divya A L in

After all the chinnus and minnus
Sweeties and Cuties, kabalis and bahubalis
My Mom Divya and my Dad Rammohan
Finally planned my Namakaran

Curious to know what I'll be called
Awaiting 21st of April 2017, for my name to be unvieled
At 10am, at Hotel Kadamba Guestline
Thats on the 1st floor,Kengeri Bus Stand Terminal, Mysore Road.

Please join this ceremony and grace the occassion
Call out my new name on top of your voice
To my tiny little brain, this shall be a training  session
A surprise awaits whoever calls it loudest and nice!

At 1pm, savour the traditional lunch
And yes, I don't want to miss a selfie with you bunch!
Your presence is a present enough
Don't bother gifting stuff!!

Venue

Mother's love!  

Posted by Divya A L in , ,

Until I met you , I'd known not
How strong, juggled is our knot
Anything you do is a boundless joy
You are my dearest , my sunny little boy!!

Your little smile, radiates my face
Your little sorrow, makes it an ocean of grief
Oh little one , in you , I seek solace
May you always be protected and be safe !

Today was a special one
Your lovely gesture tickled my heart
You made me laugh and laughed in turn
Never had I had, this  priceless a moment !

Never will I let you down
Never shall put you in wrong hands
Never shall let evil shadows cast in
Till my last breath , I promise

Crazy it may seem...
Stupid it may sound...
Surreal it may look...
I've never been so deep
In this abyss of love,
Experiencing Divine joy, knowing no bounds and leaps !

PS: Only now I realise why my mom puts up with me always !

Chimes of Intel  

Posted by Divya A L in

Inside Intel – here we are,
Love the greens and the fresh air of SRR!!

In many ways, Intel cares,
Here are some, we ought to share!

Working here amidst the best talents
The best within us fervents

The activities of fun and frolic
perfect stress buster for a workaholic

An eye for the blind,
benefactor to the poor
Oh Intel’s involved, for sure!

Awards, goodies, recognitions, success celebration
A key source for employee motivation

For anything and everything, there’s a process in place
After all, slow and steady wins the race!

Your rigid policies against harassment and disgrace
Makes it a great and wonderful workplace

Working women strategy in WIN sessions
A good insight for work life balance

Is it all about work that count?
No no! It is also its employees that Intel cares about!

Nutrition for healthyoga, gym and aerobics      
Makes us free of stress and panics

Routine health checkups and reminders to stretch!
Keeps us fit, fine and ergo-rich!

Fun with family or chill at Rome
It’s a cocktail at Intel, which is our second homeJ

Your constant efforts and thrive to improve
To be the best” is what it’s gonna prove…

The Rainbow  

Posted by Divya A L in



The sky was dark,
The gloom and despair did they mark
Amidst was a Silver Lining
She saw the spark in the trailing

In between appeared a rainbow
What a sight, worthy of a bow
The background seemed to fade
Due to the neat colors that were laid

The colors beamed of joy and hope
She knew it was a sign, sweet as a cantaloupe
Her blemished thoughts, deep
Expecting sweet fruits it would reap

But as nature has it,
Gone were the colors in a sweep
The darkness and the gloom with it
Made her uncontrollably weep!

Would the silverlining also disappear?
And leave her blind?
The love she had, she feared
Would leave her behind...

The sinking ship  

Posted by Divya A L in

She was a lively ship
She was colorful and hep
She was adored and praised
Like a princess, she was raised

She hummed like a nightingale
While on move, she raced whales
She conquered her space  - the vast sea
There were no limits to her see

As she celebrated her glory,
Her owner was in such a merry
That He gave away the princess' to the king of a ferry
Little did he know , it was an act of a bury

Well, she was growing old,
Her colors faded as days rolled
The king did not see her shine
He made her cry, he made her whine

She was no more the only one
He made sure she was just another one
She was beaten and broken
She felt abandoned and shaken

The owner visited his princess, the priceless!
He noticed the king was ruthless
He regretted that he was watchless
And moaned inside speechless

She gave up all her hope
She sunk even while tied to a rope
She dreamt to elope
And sprint like an antelope!

She saw lonely times
Even when there were thousands besides
Hundreds of gazes o\upon her
Some even adored her

However the day had arrived,
The rope was finally untied
She would sail again she thought
Yes, she did, in an abyss in which she was caught!

Sophie -- you are my alter ego!  

Posted by Divya A L

My shopaho-li-sm has reached heights, or so thinks my dear Hubby. It was my mother then and its my husband now - whom I have to lie(its a big deal deal, really) to about  my shopping expenses. Why don't these people realize I can't be bi-partied with my shopaholism?
They should be lucky to know that I respect their sentiments and don't/rarely get them involved in my shopping business by not telling them about it or just making sure they are not present when I shop! And once or twice they learn about it, its a serious crime! Come on! 1 out of 25 times, is all what they know! Should they make a big issue out of that also? Why don't they understand I'm getting the best deals and of all, the kind of happiness I get with it, is euphoric. My mom likes to talk over phone and my hubby wants to watch cricket/badminton etc. Similarly I like to shop. Isn't it that simple? Its these small little things that matters in life!

Yesterday was a disaster! I had ordered 2 jumpsuits and a funky sunglass from Myntra day before and it said it would take a minimum of 1 week for delivery. Well, generally they give a call before they deliver. Expecting the same, I was cool that nobody will learn about this order. But to my surprise I see the myntra guy at my doorstep yesterday morning 8a.m!! I had to undergo the consequences of the pride these online sellers claim of - faster delivery!!

The bill was around Rs.1900 and as usual I had no cash. Since I was expecting it a week later and they would give a call before coming, I had thought I will withdraw the money later on. But now, without any alternative I turned to my hubby:

Me: Do you have some cash?
Ram: How much?
Me: 2k only
Ram: I may not have so much but tell me why you need it
Me: Nidhi (my neighbour) had ordered few things online and that guy has come. He says bill is around 1.9k
Ram: Why do you want to pay for her order?
Me: We had a combined order - I ordered some funky sun glasses.
Ram: Ok. I think she is awake, go check with her.
Me: (Shit!!) No she is still sleeping. I tried calling her.
Ram: Ok wake her up. Its 8am already.
Me: She was not well. Why trouble her?  I will pay now, she will pay me back later
Ram: (Goes straight to their house wakes her up. I stare at him looking stunned) Nidhi your parcel has arrived!
Nidhi: Yepme ka parcel itni jaldi aa gayi?( Our YEPME order has arrived so soon?)
Me: No Nidhi, we did not order at YEPME, it was myntra remember? (Well, day before yesterday, we actually did a combined order at YEPME. Poor girl she thought it was that, obviously).
Nidhi (sleepy eyes): Nahi yaarr.. It was YEPME only...
Me (growing little furious): Nidhi it was MYNTRA!!( I started winking at her, gosh! she noticed)
Nidhi: Accha that one! Oh show me!
Me (I love her!!!): Started to unpack and first took out the funky sun glasses. They were damn cool! I was sooo joyous, but couldn't show it out!
Ram: Take the other two parcels meant for you Nidhi.
Me: (almost had a heartbreak for not even getting a chance to take a look at my jumpsuits. I had to do something!! My mind was working fast!) Ram, actually, I recollect that I had ordered one for me and one for her( without facing him).
(I could feel a cold stare at me. I think he expected it and gave a sarcastic smile)
Ram: Why do you order these online? How do you know it fits? You have wasted many already. Don't you learn from your mistakes? (my Mom was so much better! :( )
Me: No No Ram, I'm sure they fit me. I'll try them right away and show you if you want. If you think its not good, I'll return it back now only(Didn't give him second chance to speak and rushed into the room - finally I gotta chance not just to see them, but wear them too!! - ecstatic!!)
I thanked God a thousand times that day! Both fit me so well that I was tempted to tell the truth that both were mine! But no, he would kill me!

Ram: So which one is yours?
Me: Actually I liked both... err.. I.. ( I hadn't even completed the sentence when he cut it short)
Ram: Ok keep that(pointing out at the black one) and give the other to Nidhi.  (to Nidhi: ) You too try and if it doesn't fit return it now itself, Don't waste money like her (pointing at me)
Nidhi: Returning policies are different... (I had to signal her once more to not not explain those policies now!) "OK". (she was now fully awake! Her sympathy for me was showing up from all corners of her eyes! She silently took it away) .

That moment was awful as I had a 6th sense that it will never come back to me! My idea was to just hand over the parcel to her, as it is, in the packed state, and collect it later in the evening. After 2 weeks Ram would have forgotten about it. However, let me tell you 1 fascinating fact about Ram - He has a photographic memory!!

Nidhi is a nice sweet girl. In 5 minutes she came back, pretending to have tried it out and ...
Nidhi: This looks so much better on you than me!! (have you seen a sweeter girl? I haven't) Ram, she looks slim also, didn't you notice?
Me: (went on a high for a sec, and thanked God !): Are you sure? (Before I could talk, Ram cut in)
Ram: You like it and bought it, so you take it! Or if its not fitting you well, then return it!
(My stomach felt  a churn - It was like a free fall from a reef! Nidhi also was disappointed! She tried her best to convince it was good for me, that I looked slim, that I could wear for so and so occasions etc, but Ram didn't even had that line of thought or change his angle of thought. After futile failed attempts she took it away!)

Its there now, lying in her wardrobe crying to come back to me! Oh dear, I miss you as much as you miss me!!

Yesterday evening, it was v heavy on my heart and spurred out the fact that all were mine to Ram. He said, "I knew it in the first place, reassured when I saw the disappointment when Nidhi was taking it from here and now I am proud of my judgement!"

I wanted to go and bang my head somewhere!

PS: I hate Myntra. They should learn that just because they are situated geographically close-by and have delivered many a time to the same address, they should not take it for granted and appear like ghosts early in the morning, that too clueless! Learn you pridos!!

And Sophie, you have confessed too much in your book - Confessions of a shopaholic! And like a fool, had made Ram read it!

A voice. ...  

Posted by Divya A L

Yearn to hear a voice -
So true , as a child's smile
So warm as a hot tea on a winter s night...
So honest like a father's advice...
So caring like a mother s love....

A voice that -
Consoles when hurt
Appreciates the efforts small or big
Never let's you down serious or humour
Assures not to turn into a grumble

A voice that -
Promises to be there for ever
Soothes even if it means an extra leap
Always wants you to keep listening to
One considers as Melody of Life! !

Have a lot to write...  

Posted by Divya A L

... but not sure where to start....

Its been as hard as rock
For my mind to dock
On a subject to talk
Doesn't respond, even after several knocks!!

Myriad memories, I flock
Fickle on which one to lock
Should I pick one ad hoc?
Ooops! time to leave, its 7'o clock!! :(

Wishing myself better luck next time!!

Welcome 2013!  

Posted by Divya A L


Here's New Year yet again

To pave ways to gain -  
As much joy, as the stretch of the sky
Momentous times void of sorrow and cry

To fight ways to pain –
Enjoy, solve riddles like Holmes
Avert perspectives, change, be an Epitome

Let’s kick start this new year
To make it most memorable and dear!

Welcome 2013!

Have a fantabulous year ahead!  :)

Fabric Paint - 2  

Posted by Divya A L

Did this after a longgggggg time! Though at many places could't get it right! :(


Status: Married  

Posted by Divya A L

The first thing that the marriage does to a person is to keep them BUSY!!

Well, I agree to this without any second thought... But when I look back to find out what I am busy with, nothing strikes my mind, nothing special at least.  

The very first thing that keeps one busy is setting up a home, and how's that:

*  You frequent into the nearby stores/shops so often that the shopkeeper himself gives you a list of things to buy. You know, like buying all the pooja stuff and forgetting the match sticks :-X

*  Keep/move things from here to there, undoing, redoing... until it takes some acceptable shape. Even after that, there are exceptional cases like the kitchen appears all new once Rammy is known to have entered in!! There's sugar in the place of salt and likewise!!

Next big thing - cooking! Its not gonna be too long for it to become a routine... Wake up in the morning, chop chop chop, come back from office chop chop chop... and bear the cacophony of multiple things happening in the kitchen... the mixer, the cooker, and the ever enduring - chop chop chop!! 
[ I was so thrilled to hear and see(photos of stuff he had prepared when in Poland) that Rammy is a wonderful cook... All  his recipes are from the talkative chef Sanjay Thumma. He follows them so religiously that he needs to even use the same kind of utensils that Sanjay uses for cooking!! No wonder I am yet to taste the food cooked my him! Oh ya, he's made some exceptionally good dosas, not to forget, we had got the tavas similar to what Sanjay uses ;) ]

If all these are the "tasks" that keeps one busy, there are lots more - deal with the differences!! All the bachelors and the bachelorettes, a MUST know things about your partner:
1.  Is he/she okay with sleeping on the cot/floor
2.  Is he/she okay with/without fan

If only I knew Rammy snores in his sleep!! :( I can put up with the snore as long as he dares not to touch the fan switch! :P

This is pretty much the daily business after marriage! Yet, I feel I've no time!! :( 

.... More to come

Getting Hitched!  

Posted by Divya A L in

"Hello hello" here I ping
A dear Welcome, I will sing

Decided to step into a new life,
To take on a new role - as  a WIFE!!

The Wedding Day is on the 13th of August
Block your calender, first things first!

A little about my fiancee, if you care,
Read on if you have time to spare...

RamMohan, is his good name (Remember Rammy?? ;))
For movies, he is always a game... (like like :))) )
Shopping - not the best of his hobbies(dislike :-| )
Books, travelling, cooking - are his basic interests (like like  - esp the last one ;) )
Languages known - Telugu, English, C
Yes, a software engineer, you see!!
A native of Chittor,
His work, brings him to Bangalore!

As I look forward to the D-Day
 My warmest welcome to you all...
Make your presence, make my day
Most precious, most memorable!

SVK Mantap, Bangalore is the venue
Trace it with this map
I shall eagerly hope to see you
For, each of your presence is a feather in my cap!! 

Moments....  

Posted by Divya A L in

A moment of joy,
A moment of bizarre happiness...
Gosh! they just fly by,
Leaving only succulent numbness...

A plethora of memories,
Stormed with emotions,
Brewed by dreams,
All into the ruins...

Moments, some as wonderful,
As wanting to be frozen forever...
While those some others to pass by,
As though they can appear never...

Life is a verdict
For every case on case...
Whats tough is to predict,
the face of the case,
If guilty of sins or innocence...

RIP  

Posted by Divya A L

Some people are close to us by the length of the time we've known them, some because they are good friends, some when we share common interests and so on... However, there are a few of them whom you feel close to heart even if you haven't talked to them, spent time with them or even known them. There's that unspoken bond between those two people who understand each other just like that. I have known quite a few people like that and one of them is an uncle who lived in my lane. I saw him daily while on my way from home to the bus stop during which time he went for his morning stroll... It was one plain smile we exchanged daily. He passed away this morning around 6am after having lived for 60+ years. Heart's feeling heavy for his loss! Strange relationships do mean quite a lot! Not able to fathom the news and difficult to sink it into my head......  Rest In Peace Uncle!

Ain't we all living our lives on the EDGE !!

MOTIvated!!  

Posted by Divya A L

I daily get motivated these days... With time and day, I see it shoot up (linearly for now). I deliberately try otherwise, but I just keep getting MOTIvated!!! (MOTI as in hindi). :(

Inspired by my MOTIvation, I try to make a sincere effort to keep my MOTIvation levels as low as possible!! In the process, there are quite a number of challenges:

Instance 1: Since I've stopped taking yoga sessions, I tried to cut down on eating. Tried to avoid junk food atleast. Since it was a saturday and I had to work, I was at office. For lunch, we ordered Pizzas (damn! I wanted to suggest something light, but as such, it was a sponsored lunch, so didn't want to have a say on that). I made up my mind to stick to Garlic bread.
Challenge: How to say "no"!!
Result: I find myself suggesting someone else to enjoy eating Pizzas without bothering about the calories. And to MOTIvate her, I also had more than I could!!

Instance 2: My "never-to-eat-in-the-next-six-months" food list is not really much. It has Vada, chocs, ice creams, pasteries, fudge, chats and other junk.
Challenge: To keep some of my favourites (all time) on the list!!
Result: I find myself eating vada almost every alternate day. And as if one could overcome the urge to eat chocolates... Esp on seeing mails like "chocs at my desk" etc and I ofcourse consciously picked just one. However, I had to pick 2 more for my friend who wasnt at office that day. So that added upto 3. No big deal. (She forgot to ask about it. Not my fault!!) And the birthday celebrations!!

Instance 3: Its summmerrr!!! So what? Well, I understand this is the season for Ice creams to chill the heat!! Well, I did think of fresh fruit juice option.
Challenge: Risking the quality of water used for the juice. Though ice creams are better that way, it is challenging to accept the fact that the priority here is MOTIvation than taking chances with falling sick!
Result:After having a fruit juice, tender coconut etc, I can bet nothing could beat the effect of the icecreams... Hot choc fudge is the thing to try!!!!

Instance 4: Most recent one this was. That day I was supposed to fast, on account of Sankashta Chaturthi.
Challenge: To remember the date of Sankashta Chaturthi, which happens to be the same day when you are starving/unusually hungry and plan to have biryani!
Result: Had idly VADA, JUICE, choco drink, a heavy meal, Bhel puri, cutlet and again a heavy meal at home!! Never had struck me I had a whale of an appetite!!

Instance 5: Avoid outside food.
Challenge: One can choose not eat and still enjoy the company, just trying to explain ppl around that you really don't like to eat it that day (but your mouth is watering). Avoiding stupid looks of the people!
Result: Have been going to team lunch, team outing, birthday parties, Eat out with cab friends gang, eat out with colleagues and such!!

Hope my inspirations and attempts on working over this is a lot useful, or hope I just get deMOTIvated at the thought of MOTIvation!! :(

Book Review: The man from St. Petersburg - Ken Follett  

Posted by Divya A L

A story during World War it is, comprising the following elements - Poverty, Murder, War, Politics, Anarchy, Love, Betrayal.

The British try to make a secret alliance with the Russians to get them to their support in a war against Germany(who plan to attack France). The Russian Anarchists defy the war as they feel the lives of poorer Russian mass would be sacrificed when they don't even understand its purpose. This man from St. Petersburg known as Feliks is one such anarchist who will find a way out to stop the secret treaty getting signed which will in turn save those innocent lives from the miseries and brutalities of the war. The idea is to kill the nephew of the Czar of Russia (Aleks) which will enrage the Czar to an extent to distrust the British and decline their support.

The story also involves a love triangle which will turn the plans of Feliks upside down with every murder attempt against Aleks. He finds Lydia his lady love, after 19 years and reminisces those youthful days of his. Lydia, however, would be married to Walden, a semi-official diplomat under the Conservative governments, the uncle of Aleks who is involved in the negotiations of the treaty. Feliks also discovers that Lydia would've given birth to his daughter who grows up with Walden, her "papa" and not surprisingly, she'd have derived the anarchist qualities of her real father.

While Feliks is hellbent on killing Aleks, Walden hides Aleks and vehemently tries to see Feliks arrested and sentenced to death. As it dawns to Lydia that only one of her loves could survive at the end of it, she desperately tries to protect them both. Charlotte puts up quite a show in helping her real father get to his target victim.

What I liked the most is the different perspectives that come out from Walden, Feliks, Lydia and their daughter Charlotte. A nice story and damn well written by Ken Follett!

4.5/5 for this one!

Chicken Pepper chettinad!  

Posted by Divya A L in

Ingredients:

Chicken 1/2 kilo
2 onions
1 tomato
mustard seeds
cumin seeds and powder
coriander leaves and powder
curry leaves
coarsely ground pepper
ginger-garlic paste
chilli powder
turmeric powder
green chillies - 4-5

Method of preparation:
Heat 3 tbs oil in a kadai. Add mustard seeds and cumin seeds, wait till they pop. Add onions, turmeric powder, ginger garlic paste and fry for a minute. Add chopped tomatoes and green chillies and fry for another minute. Add salt, 1 tbs chilli powder, 2 tbs coriander powder, 1 tbs cumin powder and mix. Add a glass of water to this, put in chicken and mix well.... Allow it to cook for about 20 min (till it turns dry). Now add 2 tbps pepper powder , curry leaves, coriander leaves and fry till almost dry! The spicy yummy pepper chicken now awaits you!


~Cooking time: 30 min.
Serves 4.

PS: This was the most yummiest dish I've ever made. It was finger lickin good!! I never knew I had cultivated a master chef in me!! :P :D [I am aware of my habit (good for me bad for you) of bragging about myself] But I SWEAR, it was yummy!!! :)

A gift!  

Posted by Divya A L

All of us love gifts, especially when they come in as a surprise! Today I was pleasantly surprised to receive one such(a lovely bracelet) from my colleague's(bus mate) daughter (studying 12th). Ask why! Honestly, I am really not too sure. All I was told by my colleague was, his daughter was thankful to me for making him be more open and carry a broader perspective towards her (than being in a complaining and restrictive mode) and help him understand her better!

Now that was something I never knew of, and I still don't get a complete picture. :) Anyway, happy to know that I was of some use to someone behind the screen!

ಮಾಯಾವಿ....  

Posted by Divya A L in

ನಿನ್ನ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಯ್ದಿಡಿಸಿ
ವಿಖರ ಗೊಂದಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಲುಕಿಸಿ
ಶಿಖರಧೆತ್ತರದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾಸಿ
ಮರೆತು ಮರೆಯಾದೆಯ ಮಾಯಾವಿ!

ಹುಚ್ಚೆದ್ಧ ಬಿರುಗಾಳಿಯಂತೆ
ಗೊಗೆರೆಯುವ ಬಿರುಸಿನ ಮಳೆಯಂತೆ
ಹಚ್ಚ ಹಸುರಿನ ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗೆಯನ್ನು
ಕೊಚ್ಚಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಯ್ಢೆಯಾ, ಮಾಯಾವಿ!

ಗಗನದತ್ತ ಹಾಸಿವೆ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳು
ಹಾರಿ ಹೋದವ ತಿರುಗಿ ನೋಡಲೆಂದು
ನೋಟ ಜಾರಿಸಲು ಯತ್ನಿಸುತ್ತಿವೆ ರವಿಕಿರಣಗಳು
ಸಿಲುಕದೆ ಕಾಪಾಡಿದೆ - ನಿನ್ನ ಛಾಯೆ, ಮಾಯಾವಿ!

ಜೀವನದೂಗುತ್ತಿದೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಅನ್ವೇಷಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ
ನಿಶ್ಕಲ್ಮುಶವಾದ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನ ಹಾದಿಯಲ್ಲಿ
ಕಣ್ಮರೆಯಾಗಿಯೇ ಕಾಡುತ್ತಲಿರುವೆಯಾ?
ಇಲ್ಲಾ, ಮರಳಿ ಮಿನುಗುವೆಯಾ... ಮಾಯಾವಿ??